Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Curt Schilling is a Moron.

I have recently learned that Curt Schilling has "sounded off" about the Mitchell Report, as well as most of the names on it.

In his incoherent, typo-riddled rant on his online blog, Schilling claims that Roger Clemens should have to essentially forfeit everything he has accomplished since 1997 (When Mitchell claims he began using HGH). This includes 162 wins, 2,082 strikeouts, 4 Cy Young Awards and 6 All-Star Appearances (Source). Curt would also like for the Yankees to each mail him their World Series rings from 1998, 1999 and 2000, as well as a partridge in a pear tree... for his backyard.

I have an even better idea, Curt. How about we throw out every record of baseball existing professionally in America since the strike in 1994. We won't play baseball again, and we can have the last memory of baseball being guys like Pedro Martinez and Cliff Floyd telling us how the '94 Expos were the best team ever. Or, this is even better, we can strap you to a satellite and have you orbit earth and patrol things until you see fit they can continue playing. 

Curt, there is exactly one person in all of baseball that I can confidently say has never and will never take performance-enhancing substances: Derek Jeter. I know you hate the Yankees Curt (And trust me, the feeling is mutual), but Jeter is the only player that has been in the league through the steroid era that I can undoubtedly call "clean". I cannot say the same about even you, the untouchable Curt Schilling. 

If you are going to begin making claims to take away records and awards won by people who are being speculated to have used steroids, the game of baseball might as well not exist. We don't know who is using, and until there is vigorous testing to reveal and filter out the bad seeds, there is nothing you can do about it. I understand this is just your blog and you are free to say whatever you want (I will do the same), and I understand that steroids is slowing destroying the game, but you cannot go around pointing fingers at certain players without truthfully knowing more than what you read about in the Boston Globe from Bob Ryan.

The Mitchell Report has done nothing but caused Bud Selig to buy stock in Tylenol. In the opening paragraphs of his blog, Schilling claims that everyone should throw out the fact that George Mitchell is a senior member of the Red Sox organization. According to Schilling, there couldn't possibly be a tie between the lack of Red Sox on the list and the compiler of the list getting paid by the very same Red Sox. Curt also knows everything there is to know about every player in Boston's organization and that Mitchell is right on in his lack of dirt coming out of Boston (Although I could easily find some dirt from Boston-his name begins with an "M" and ends with an "anny Ramirez"). 

Curt I'm sorry I'm not sorry you never won a Cy Young, but to claim you respect players like Andy Pettitte, then spell his name wrong is just embarrassing. Step one on respecting someone: Learn to spell their name, step two: take a 5-minute break, we wouldn't want you hurting yourself, we don't have time to buy you more socks. All I have to say is, God forbid someone wrote "Kurt Shilling" on their website, you would throw a fit like a 5-year-old who has been told they weren't having dessert.

P.S.- I responded to Curt's blog, and am awaiting any feedback from the man himself, gosh I feel so lucky.

*For all of you that would like to see this atrocity for yourselves, please visit, the official blog of Curt Schilling. 

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