Jimmy Rollins is on Crack

Where does Jimmy Rollins get the balls to predict the Phillies beating the Yankees in 5 games? We all know he's an idiot, and talks more than he should (I will be happy to direct you to his crappy .250 2009 campaign), but where does he get off making a bold prediction like that?

I'm not saying the Phillies won't win, I'm just saying if they do, it sure as hell won't be in 5.

On another note of idiot predictions: John "I haven't seen my neck since 1974" Kruk also predicted the Phillies to win. Shocker, an ESPN "analyst" that played in Philly picked the Phils. Oh, and Mitch Williams of the MLB Network took a page out of Rollins' book this morning on WFAN's Boomer and Carton, predicting a Phillie win in 5 games.

I wonder what Steve Phillips has to say about all of this. Oh wait, no I don't.

I wanted the Yankees to win simply because I'm a new-generation Yankee fan, one that is only used to seeing the Yankees celebrating on the mound. It's been way too long between World Series appearances. Way too long since ticker-tape parades. Way too long since we had a baseball champion in New York.

Hopefully the trash-talking Phillies have woken a somewhat sleeping giant.

Dubinsky Does Dallas?

We honestly hate to drum up old rumors that have been going on for what seems like forever, but with Rangers restricted free agent center Brandon Dubinsky still not signed, and this article from The Bleacher Report, it seems like a Brad Richards for Dubinsky deal could be very realistic.

What gives the rumor substance is the fact that Richards flourished under Rangers Head Coach John Tortorella when Torts was the head coach in Tampa Bay, and the Rangers need a number one center.

If you don't feel like clicking the link, the article suggests that the Rangers are going to deal Dubinsky along with defenseman Michael Rozsival ($5 mil/year) and a prospect for Richards ($7.8 mil/year) and a player to be named.

I'd like to see this deal done as much as I'd like to see Susan Boyle naked. I honestly don't think Richards would be that much better as Marian Gaborik's pivot than Dubinsky.

Now that I've gotten you nauseous by mentioning Dubinsky's possible departure, or the Susan Boyle thing, let's top it off with a link to Theo Fleury's comeback story! He should do the Petr Nedved thing and latch on with the Rangers training camp...they'll let you go to the team golf outing!

Back to His Day Job...

David Ortiz tested positive for steroids in 2003. Can I please have a show of hands of all the people in the room who are surprised at this shocking new development. No one? Really?

This guy stunk in Minnesota, came to Boston, took birth control pills with Manny, hit 54 home runs in 2006, got off the juice, and stinks again.

You know how I know this as fact? Ortiz is getting regular periods again.

This just in from Hank Steinbrenner on Twitter: @hankstein Hey John Henry? Congrats on the revelation that your championship 3-4 hitters juiced. You like-a the way the dick tastes?

Rollin' in the Benjamins

The Yankees are back to their winning ways as they head to Chicago to continue their assault on the American League Central (19-5 in 2009). This has got us thinking: Can the Yankees win 100 games? Let's play with the numbers.

The Bombers are 62-39 through the first 101 games of the season. There are 61 games left. The Yanks are 38 wins away from the century mark. I think a record of 38-23 with a .622 winning percentage down the stretch is more than reasonable (they currently sit at .614 for the year). It will be fascinating to see if this squad can stay strong and actually get stronger for the remainder of the season. They have 27 games left against the AL Central and AL West, where they are a combined 32-13.

Win the series against the Sox, run away with the East. Shower A-Rod with Dom Perignon.

Mets Win, Yanks Lose, Wang Out For Season

The Mets continued their winning ways behind a good start by Mike Pelfrey. Obviously the Mets aren't going to lose again this season, win the NL East and will be so good the rest of the summer that Bud Selig will waive the NL playoffs and just put the Mets in the World Series.

The Yankees lost a very ugly game full of errors and sloppy play, hopefully getting all of that out of their system last night. Swisher is absolutely embarrassing in right field, begging a few questions: Will the Yankees trade for an OF? Will the Yankees make a trade at all? Why does Eric Hinske rot on the bench?

And yes, last but certainly not least, Chien-Ming Wang visited Dr. Andrews for his baseball death sentence: Shoulder surgery today, out for the season. One would think the Yankees will now go after a serviceable 4th/5th starter like an Arroyo, Washburn, etc.

Wilpon Hangs Minaya Out to Dry

"He understands he made a huge mistake and put us in a bad spot."

The truthful and very telling words of New York Mets owner Jeff Wilpon, responding to the words and exchanges of yesterday's press conference.

Congrats, Mets, I can barely remember why the press conference yesterday was called. Your organization has done so much to embarrass itself over the past 26 hours that everyone already forgot about Tony Bernazard.

Start the countdown, Omar Minaya's days are numbered.

Hall of Fame Questions

The United States Hockey Hall of Fame announced its 2009 inductees: The 1998 women's Olympic hockey team; John LeClair, Tony Amonte, Tom Barrasso; and ice resurfacing inventor Frank Zamboni.

No doubt that all of these inductions are worthy of U.S. enshrinement, but the question is whether or not any of these people are worthy of the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto.

Let's even take it a step further by asking about some other players that may or may not be HHOF worthy. Does Mike Richter get in? He's already in the U.S. HOF, and an even bigger question, what about Eric Lindros (yeah, I know he's Canadian, but we're talking about the HHOF in Toronto here)?

We here at the Black and White Cookie feel that Richter can squeak in eventually, while Lindros should definitely make it at some point. Out of the recent U.S. inductees, I'd say Barrasso - Yes; Amonte - No (900 points, but not one piece of hardware); LeClair - Maybe.

Who else is on the brink that you think deserves hockey royalty?

Yankees Spank Rays; Mets Spank Rockies, NYDN

Swisher hit two home runs, Cano went deep, and Damon joined in the party with a shot of Jack himself, as the Yankees beat up on the Rays, 11-4. Bombers still 2.5 up on the Sox.

The real story of the day came before any pitch was thrown, as the sinking Mets held a press conference in late in the afternoon to announce the firing of Tony Bernazard. Big deal? Not really. The big deal came when Omar Minaya used a public forum, being simulcast on SNY and WFAN, to present the idea that he believed the Daily News reporter that broke the Bernazard story had an ulterior motive in his reporting: he wanted the psychotic VP of player development's job.

According to Minaya, who crucified the Daily News' Adam Rubin during the press conference, claimed Rubin approached him about breaking into the baseball business and used the power of the pen to create a job opening for himself.

THIS JUST IN: Confirming earlier reports, Omar Minaya IS actually the dumbest GM in baseball, and probably needs to be fired. The Mets front office is an embarrassment.

Oh, I almost forgot: The Mets won again, their third consecutive win. Congrats to the Triple-A team in Queens. None of that even matters anymore, because the Mets, the Wilpons and Omar Minaya will be absolutely crushed in the New York media for weeks to come. Don't expect anything positive about the Mets to come out of the Daily News anytime soon.

One question comes to mind: Where the hell are the Wilpons?

Yanks Done Streaking; Gardner to DL

I guess we can't be too upset that the Yankees didn't start the second half 9-0. Losing one to the A's probably shouldn't happen, but they won the series 3-1, improving their record to 59-38. Pettitte started well, but fell apart later in the game.

As we all wake up this morning to news about Brett Gardner's broken thumb, questions about his replacement are swirling. The three most obvious choices seem to be Shelley Duncan, Austin Jackson, or Ramiro Pena.

Duncan would be just for power options off the bench, Jackson and Pena would be for centerfield (Pena has been starting a bit in triple-A).

Gardner has been a real asset, and I never thought I'd say this, but the Yankees are not as good without him. He got hurt sliding into second, and played the rest of the game, hitting a triple and making several plays in the outfield. You don't see toughness like that much these days anymore.

Bring up Austin, he's been compared to Joe D early in his career, and I'm sure most Yankee fans are excited to see what he can do at the major-league level.

Oh, and check out this hilarious story about Shelley Duncan.

Another Good Start

Joba had a great start Friday against the A's, making that two good ones in a row. Many are crediting the success to his quicker pace on the mound.

Yeah, it's great that he's won consecutive starts and has pitched well, but it's going to make the innings-limit-move-to-the-bullpen that much harder. I do get admittedly smitten when I think about Joba being thrown into the bullpen for the playoffs. Aceves, Coke, Hughes, Chamberlain as the bridge to Mo is about as exciting as it gets.

Phil Hughes is the new Joba. And he could be the next Yankee closer in 20 years when Mariano decides he wants to stop dominating baseball.

No rush though, let the Sandman do work.

57-37*

On the surface, one would look at the MLB standings and see that the Yankees are 57-37, currently sit in first place and have won six in a row, sweeping both the Tigers and Orioles. We at The Black and White Cookie provide our readers with a closer look, and a reason for the loud obnoxious Yankee fan to sit back and shut up a bit until Sunday, Aug. 9, after the final game of a four-game series with the (second-place) Red Sox.

When the Yankees make it to the ALCS, they will likely play one of two teams: Red Sox or Angels. The Yankees are a combined 2-12 against these teams. This is why I say the Yankees' current record deserves the Barry Bonds treatment.

Yes, they have the best record in the American League and second-best record in the majors, but their record is hollow. As long as they make the playoffs, and assuming they will draw the AL Central champ in the first round, the Bombers should coast into the ALCS (19-5 against the Central).

Food for thought: It's unrealistic to say the Yankees should be 8-0 against the Sox instead of 0-8, but a reasonable split versus the Beantown Bastards would put the Yanks six games up in the division.

Just sayin'

LeBron dunked on, who cares?

FINALLY! The infamous dunk by Xavier's Jordan Crawford over LeBron James has surfaced! And who cares? The original tape was confiscated by PR reps of LeBron James' Skill Academy, but a cell phone video (and it's actually pretty clear) was dug up by TMZ.

Here's the link to Yahoo's Ball Don't Lie blog which has the video and a little article CLICK HERE. (The above is a still shot of the video)

To be honest, LeBron and his reps were really concerned that this would make its way to the public? I am not impressed with the dunk really, and if LeBron and Co. just let this go when it happened, this would not be as big a deal as it has become. Where did his PR people get their degree? Obviously not WPU.

Don't Want No Scrubs

Dan Bickley of The Arizona Republic is hinting at Jeremy Roenick’s retirement. Roenick, never one to shy away from speaking his mind, having a good time or just generally blabbing, mentioned that he thinks his former Chicago Blackhawks teammate, Chris Chelios, wants to play for the New York Rangers.

"Chelly wants to play until he's 50," Roenick said. "Chelly wants to play in New York, for the Rangers and Glen Sather."

I think I speak for all Rangers fans when I say, NO. If these were the 1998-2003 Rangers, then the 88-year-old Chelios is a shoe-in, but Glen Sather and the Rangers have been doing everything right this off-season, don’t Dorian it up now. Good thing Perry Cox isn’t at the Rangers helm.

The Rangers should bring in a veteran presence on the blueline after they drop either Wade Redden or Michael Rozsival. That veteran should be Sergei Zubov - case closed. In case you missed one of our last entries, we here at The Black and White Cookie are big fans of the Chopped Liver.

As for Roenick, he has been great for hockey. In a league that doesn’t have many personalities, Roenick was always a great quote, and did his best to make hockey interesting to the casual fan.

In other Metro-hockey news, New Jersey Devils General Manager Lou Lamoriello can retract his fangs now that center Travis Zajac agreed to a contract and will avoid arbitration. Meanwhile, the New York Islanders have fired their radio broadcast team and will simulcast the television crew’s broadcast. Oh, and Rick DiPietro may not be healthy enough to start the season - shocker.

Bengals want Big Ben

The Cincinnati Bengals are actively pursuing a trade to acquire Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger.

"We think the character flaws and negative media attention of [Roethlisberger] would be a perfect fit for our franchise," said Mike Brown, owner and general manager of the Bengals. "We would be willing to give up Carson Palmer and a slew of other 'goodie two-shoes' type players."

Notice the shirt, folks.

Yankees Postgame, 7/21 vs. Orioles: First Place!

Welp, the Yankees are in first place, as no-name Sergio Mitre (pictured above wearing a bullet-proof vest) did just enough to assist in a 6-4 victory for the Bombers.

The Yanks will finish up the series with the O's in tomorrow's matinee at The Stadium. Burnett going against some guy named Berken certainly favors New York for the win, but of course crazier things have happened.

Mo locked down the save, Cano hit a home run (don't 'cha know?), and A-Rod was thrown out by a mile at second base (hopefully it was an unsuccessful hit-and-run with Posada swinging and missing).

Oh, the Phillies won again, and the crappy Mets lost... again. They are now a full 10 games back. In true Craig Carton fashion, I am locking up the Mets' season being just about as dead as Michael Jackson, may he rest in all the pieces he was made of.

NHL Winter Classic 2010

The 2010 NHL Winter Classic will be taking place at Boston’s Fenway Park, pitting the Boston Bruins against the Philadelphia Flyers.

Last year’s Classic at Wrigley Field was a grand slam (pun intended). Now, the action will shift to another storied venue with rabid Boston fans and the uncomparable Philly fanatics. Boston and hockey just works (see: Leary, Denis), and the Bruins have been revitalized the last couple seasons, much like the Blackhawks.

I love the match-up for this game. Two tough teams, from blue-collar cities, and plenty of skill to boot. We may actually see our first Winter Classic fight! Now, I know people wanted to see some sort of Original Six game between the Bruins and the Canadiens or Rangers, and some wanted to see Alexander Ovechkin on an outdoor frozen tundra like he probably played on in mother-Russia, but sports fans are getting a legit hockey game to watch this New Year’s Day. You’re going to see some good, old-school hockey.

Not to get all Paul Lukas on you, but the only issue I have with this game is Black and Gold versus Orange and Black....not a fan.

The only question left for this game, who trades for Ty Conklin?

Mets: "We don't need Roy Halladay"

According to SI's Jon Heyman, the New York Mets declined an offer from the Toronto Blue Jays that would have brought ace Roy Halladay to Queens for two minor-leaguers and a bag of Skittles.

Fernando Martinez (.176 BA in 91 major-league at-bats), Jonathon Niese (career 6.47 ERA in the bigs), Bobby Parnell (respectable 4.25 ERA in 36 innings in 2009) and some shortstop named Ruben Tejada.

Omar Minaya (clown pictured above) said "No, thank you. We're fine the way we are. We've got the Phillies right where we want them."

By the way, Halladay's crazy good stats can be found here. Taste the Rainbow.

Yankees Postgame, 7/20 vs. Orioles: Jap-Attack

Very well-pitched game from old man Andy. Actually went into the 8th inning (an inning Joba has seen exactly once since he left the bullpen), throwing 110 pitches and striking out 8.

Some outstanding defensive plays in the top of the 8th helped bail out Pettitte. I have to credit a drunk Yanks fan at the game on Sunday for the following nugget of genius. When Girardi went to Coke in Sunday's game: "STAY OFF THE BLOW, GIRARDI!" Joe's infatuation with Phil Coke could turn into a huge problem that could prompt rehab for the Yankee skipper if Coke doesn't continue to pitch well.

Another 2-1 win, another walk-off home run. Matsui wasn't available for comment on the field with Kim Jones because his translator was in the John and he still doesn't speak a word of English after six years in New York.

Looking forward: Sergio Mitre???

Erin Andrews Naked

By now, I'm sure most of you have heard about the peephole incident involving Erin Andrews. Don't bother searching for the video online, because hackers are using it to spread a computer virus.

Ms. Andrews is in the peeping-Tom video doing her hair and make up in an unidentified hotel room. The problem lies in the fact that she is doing all of this completely naked. Why? I have no idea. Here at The Black and White Cookie, we don't, and will never claim to, understand women.

Anyway, it's a big deal, she's suing, whole nine. Twitter-nation talking about it here.

Chopped Liver Back In Blue?

Incase you didn’t know, Chopped Liver is Sergei Zubov’s nickname. OK, well not really, but that’s how he’s been treated for most of his career.

During his 16-year NHL career, Zubov has ranked among the best defensemen in the entire league. In 1993-1994 he led the New York Rangers in regular season points with 89. That’s right, Zubov (which actually means tooth in Russian - enjoy that nugget of meaningless info), a defenseman on the best team in the entire league, led the Rangers in points en route to their first Stanley Cup in 54 years.

During the lockout year of 1994-1995 he amassed 36 points in 38 games. So what does Zubov get rewarded with after two brilliant years on Broadway? Ah, yes, a trade to the Pittsburgh Penguins where he recorded 66 points in 64 games.

He then spent the next 11 years with the Dallas Stars as a stud, I repeat STUD defenseman. He’s a two-time Cup winner, a three-time All-Star, and a one-time Norris Trophy (drum roll please...) runner-up!

That’s right, Chopped Liver has never won a Norris Trophy. He’s only been nominated in 2006. Now I know Nicklas Lidstrom has pretty much urinated all over that piece of hardware to mark his territory, but Zubov just seems to get no respect. Hell, he’s only been nominated once. One nomination! He’s the Susan Lucci of the NHL, but even she eventually won (I promise that is the last soap opera reference you will ever see on this blog).

Now at 39-years-old, I doubt that all the wrongs that have been done to this man will be made right by the time he retires. However, the Rangers may be one of the few to correct their mistake (if you didn’t think Zubov and Petr Nedved for Ulf Samuelsson and Luc Robitaille was a mistake please click the little ‘x’ on the top right corner of this page, thank you).

With the Rangers looking to unload one of either Wade Redden or Michael Roszival, this may open the door to bring in Zubov at a cheaper price. Granted, he is older than Redden and Rozy, but he is still a better power play quarterback and is probably better defensively also.

I’m getting goose bumps right now picturing Zubov (wearing No. 21 of course) feather passes to Marian Gaborik.

Joba

I've said it since there was discussion about taking him from the bullpen, and I will continue to say it until he becomes a reliable starting pitcher: Joba is a relief pitcher, and the perfect successor to the great Mariano Rivera.

Joba first pitched on Aug. 7, 2007, immediately became a fan-favorite and, rightly so, received a tremendous cult-following. In his first 24 innings , he gave up 12 hits, struck out 34, and only suffered one blemish on an otherwise perfect scorecard. Mike Lowell turned on a high, inside fastball and put it into the stands in left field.

Anyone replacing Mo Rivera is going to be compared to greatness. Why not a guy that already had a boat-load of bandwagon fans? Joba had the makeup for a perfect closer, mixing a 100 mph fastball with a devastating slider, placing both pitches.

Okay, that's it for the preamble. Yesterday, Joba pitched "great." Yes, he went six and two-thirds, struck out eight, and only gave up one. But he walked three (only walked six in 2007), hit a batter and balked. He had the crowd on the edge of their seats, but seemed to always get out of the jam, getting himself a win. For that, he should be commended.

In other news, isn't it strange that Hughes is doing Chamberlain's job and Chamberlain is doing Hughes' job?

How to get Halladay

The only way Cashman is going to be able to weisel a trade within the division is if somebody frees the Blue Jays of Vernon Wells' awful contract.

I think packaging the two together for a few prospects, maybe Melky, and maybe even Joba (gasp) could land Doc Halladay.

There only a handfull of teams that can take on both contracts (Yankees, Red Sox, Mets, Dodgers, Angels).

Aside from that, there is one other obvious solution: Halladay for Hinske... straight up.

Basic Math
Halladay > Joba

Meaningless Grades

Everyone else is doing it, so we will too...

Here they are: the long-awaited Yankee Midseason Grades!

Pitchers

C.C. Sabathia: B
He's been solid. Nothing real bad, but nothing worthy the money he's being paid.

A.J. Burnett: B
Again, has shown signs of greatness, but hasn't lived up to the green.

Chien-Ming Wang: Inc.
(Insert quip about Wang's inability here)

Andy Pettitte: C-
Andy has been brutal as of late, and overall very inconsistent. A few decent starts sprinkled in here and there keep him from an F.

Joba Chamberlain: D
Hey, remember when Joba struck out 12 Red Sox? You don't? Why not? Is it because he got rocked in the first and got the loss? It is? Damn. Joba's inconsistency as a starting pitcher is about as frustrating as it gets.

Lineup

Derek Jeter: A
I don't feel this explanation needs more than this: .321

Johnny Damon: B
Was very hot to start 2009, I'd like to see his average up closer to .300, but he's had a great year so far.

Mark Teixeira: B
Yeah, he hit the cover off the ball in May and part of June, but he was about as bad as you can be in April, and went nearly a month without a home run.

Alex Rodriguez: C+
Starting to come around, finally looking healthy. He's still running like a fat toad.

Jorge Posada: B
Missed some time in May, but is so vital to the lineup. Good season so far for the aging backstop.

Robinson Cano: B-
Of course he's hitting over .300, he better be. But his average with RISP is .211. That's about as ugly as it gets. No wait, check that: this is as ugly as it gets.

Nick Swisher: B+
Swish carried the Yankees through April, finishing the month with a ridiculous 1.144 OPS, but has come back down to earth.

Hideki Matsui: B
I can't stand the fact he's a permanent DH now, but he has hit well at times.

Francisco Cervelli: B+
Listen, no one is going to come in a replace Posada's bat, but this kid is going to be the next big thing when old man Jorge finally realizes he's a DH. He worked the staff, called great games and had five multi-hit games in his short time with the big club.

Melky Cabrera: A
He's been solid, posting a .347 OBP in the bottom third of the lineup. His defensive skills and clutch hitting in '09 help him make Dean's List.

Brett Gardner: A
I said before the season, when the new Clueless Joe named "Gardie" the starting center-fielder, that if he hit .270 he'd be useful. He's hitting .282 and is a threat to run every single time he reaches with his .352 OBP. Almost the biggest surprise ever.

Cody Ransom/Ramiro Pena: C-
Pena might have scored an A by himself, but averaging it in with Cody Ransom being the dunce of the class, it resulted in a C-. Why is Ransom still on this team? Ransom is slugging .027 lower than Jeter's batting average. Just awful.

Mariano Rivera: A+
Three walks in 37 innings. 0.89 WHIP.

If you have any problems with these grades, and would like to set up a parent-teacher conference, please leave a message with a reservation. I have 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. open all next week.

We're Back

Here at The Black and White Cookie, we have held many closed-door meetings with upper management recently, and have made the executive decision to get away from our previous theory of one post every three months. We feel the average NY-area sports fan needs a bit more consistency from BWC. Don't get crazy, it's not going to be much more, but it'll be something.

The two main goals here at BWC will be to initially introducing our huge staff, and providing readers with an extremely biased fan blog, covering all the tri-state sports teams you hear rattled off really fast in those IO commercials.

Comments and suggestions are always welcomed, please drop all inquiries below the article in question. We expect an absolute flood of fan mail, so any organization will help us sort them accordingly.

Enjoy!

Thoughts about A-Rod

Okay, well it goes without saying now that Alex Rodriguez is a cheater, a liar, and a bigger asshole than Christian Bale.

But, none of that matters to Yankee fans, as long as you can pencil this guy in for 160 games, a .300+ batting average, 30+ home runs and 100+ RBIs from April to the end of September.

Now, that mainstay in the middle of the lineup is gone.

I've heard some talk of the Yankees trying to go out and get a utility infielder than can play third for a month or so while A-Rod rehabs his arthroscopic hip surgery. I wonder why. Because they're the Yankees and can? Maybe. Because they don't have faith in Ransom? Maybe. 

Bottom line is this is the first time the Bombers have had a good rotation since 2003, a year they went to the World Series on the wings of an nobody third baseman named Aaron Boone.

Sabathia, Wang, Burnett, Pettitte and Joba-if healthy-will be able to carry this team to tons of 2-1 and 3-2 victories, doing it with pitching and defense.

The point is the Yankees can survive without A-Rod for a month, letting Cody Ransom take the reigns at third, hit in the lower part of the lineup, and have a chance to help this team get to October.

Should Yankee fans be nervous? No. A lineup with Damon, Jeter, Teixeira, Posada, Matsui, Swisher/Nady and Cano is more than good enough.

Reports have A-Rod out for two months from his March 9 surgery, which would get him back on the field for a weekend series in Baltimore in early May.

The Yankees will be 31 games into the 2009 campaign by that time. This team will get off to a good start for the first time in what feels like 100 years, and be around 20-11 when he returns. They will go on to win 98 games as well as the American League East.